Thursday, 3 March 2011


I would like to thank Circus Queen for giving me something to blog about today. I've been struggling with a few blogging attempts that I've made in the last week or so, mainly because they deal with my personal history. I keep this blog mainly to keep in touch with close family and friends, and I'm careful not to write anything that could hurt their feelings. Not that I'm harbouring any secret hatred for any of my loved ones, but sometimes we have different versions of how things had happened and how things are now, and I'm worried that if my version clashes strongly with theirs, they'll think that I'm being deliberately hurtful. It's just that recently, I've been rummaging through bits and pieces of my past, trying to find out why I am the way I am and how to get to where I want to go. The process has been liberating and the temptation to write about it here is proving too strong to resist. Maybe one of these days. . .

Fortunately, this meme from Circus Queen came along and gave me something to think and talk about, and hopefully I'll be able to avoid expressing any existential angst. Heh.

I am . . . a voyager. I used to describe myself as a wanderer, especially in my twenties. I spent a large part of my young adulthood trying out different things, looking for somewhere I could fit in. I think my main problem has always been that I'm someone who found at an early age that I could be good at different things. I divided my leisure time among drawing and making things, making up stories, learning maths and science, and singing and dancing. When the time came for me to choose what to do for the rest of my life, I was completely at a loss. I tried being a scientist, then I was an editor and writer. When I got married, I was certain that my wandering days were over. I was going to be a wife and mother, and a career woman. I realised soon enough though that wasn't enough, that my journey couldn't possibly end there. I prefer to call myself a voyager now though, because I feel more certain about where I'm going, and I now have a home of my own that I'll always return to.

The bravest thing I have ever done. . . is leave home and go on an aeroplane for the first time on my own to join my husband here in the UK. I was seven months pregnant at the time.

I feel prettiest when . . . I'm wearing a dress. (My grungy twentysomething self would be horrified.)

Something that keeps me up at night. . . Hmm, I'm not very good at sleeping and the slightest thing leaves me wide awake at night, be it a school activity that I have to prepare for (especially if it requires a costume!) or a financial niggle. Sometimes, I get so excited about a project or an idea for a project that it keeps me up all night. I now keep a notebook next to me so I can just jot my worries, ideas and to-do lists down and that helps a lot.

My favourite meal is. . . definitely a Filipino one. Squid adobo, fried tilapia and squash and fine beans cooked in coconut milk, with rice served on banana leaves. For dessert, I'd have leche flan and mango ice cream. I would probably have a bad case of indigestion afterwards, but it would be worth it.

The way to my heart is . . . little acts of kindness, not just towards me but to other people as well.

I would like to be . . . more tolerant of myself and other people. I used to have what I considered to be a high set of standards for my friends and myself. (For example, I refused to be friends with people who couldn't spell.) Over the years I realised that they were just silly rules that were stopping me from appreciating what is good about myself and everyone else.

I'm tagging My Peasant Feet and Katie Green Bean. I'll probably add a few more people later, but now I have a couple of children to dress up for school!

1 comment:

Circus Queen said...

Mmm, I'd love to try your favourite dish! I also like the sound of 'voyager'...maybe I'll start to describe myself that way when I feel more certain of where I'm going!